Welcome to KinkPress.com Featuring Simon Blaise's "Dear Simon" Collum: Recent Comments

Comment on Dear Simon: Only F/fools rush in....

2008-03-23T17:05:02Z

Not offensive at all. SimonBlaise.com came to be to express how Simon lives and what works for Simon. I cannot write about anyone elses' perspective no more than I can feel what another feels.

And in that same spirit, I welcome others to share their own perspective.

Thank you. :)

S.

Comment on Dear Simon: Only F/fools rush in....

2008-03-23T16:10:32Z

I hope my views don't come off as offensive because my views differ from those this wonderful master giving advise. I have found in my experiences however that what works for one, doesn't always work for everyone.

So here is my suggestions. Lay the aspects of submission and domination to the side. First look for a friend. A person you can talk to about anything, can give you good sound advise about things, and generally someone who shares interests with you outside the lifestyle.

When looking for this man however, look in places you would find a dominant partner. Check the various personal sites, check the local fetish scenes, etc. Just keep in mind domination and submission comes second to the relationship. After you find the right man, the D/s stuff can be introduced.

Comment on Dear Simon: Only F/fools rush in....

2008-03-10T21:32:34Z

Second: "Maybe it would come up as a lack of focus and lack of purpose for a while in some cases?"

Relying on another for focus and purpose is like attempting to solve a math equation by chewing bubble gum. Moreover, to rely upon Another for such things weighs Their soul down and can force the Other to shed that unnecessary burden. One of the primary joys of an M/s relationship is the simple burdens a slave relieves her Master from, e.g. domestic duties, discomfort, etc, so that He can tend to the complex burdens that only He alone can shoulder such as His own focus, purpose and yes, being a Master. If He is burdened with a slave’s need for purpose, constant affirmation, conflict, engage in substance abuse, Master to be a therapist, etc, He will not have the emotional currency to be a Master any slave would want to serve. This is why it is vital for a slave to resolve many of her own internal issues first before entering into an M/s relationship as her failure to do so will steal precious oxygen away from her Master’s Dominant Flame.

As for My course, I may have to get with the times and do the online thing. :)

S.

Comment on Dear Simon: Only F/fools rush in....

2008-03-10T21:30:13Z

Great questions!

First you asked: "After serving someone for a good amount of time, the Master being your focus and your guide, would there be a risk of not being able to serve yourself as well?"

This is a core concept in what I am working on in My upcoming book. To keep things healthy, in My humble opinion, it is so important for the Master to establish and maintain individual autonomy with Himself and the slave. Some of the things that help this end are ensuring the slave has consistent time away from Master to work on being herself such as spending time on a hobby, spending time with friends and family, just relaxing, paying bills, tending to her more complex hygienic needs e.g. facials, waxings, nails and hair, taking care of her home, etc that all allow her a moment to reconnect with herself and affirm who she is. And when she is in Master’s home, she serves Him by offering herself and who she is to Him, as opposed to a robot or mindless creature with no identity, within the parameters of established guidelines concerning behavior and etiquette.

your question brings up another interesting point: If you are not being served through your own service to Another, then a Master/slave dynamic is probably not for you. And that’s ok. This, of course, brings up the question as to the definition of “serve” and “service” mean. Here, I am generally defining it to mean what makes you happy within a healthy framework and environment. If you are a tit-for-tat person, e.g. 50/50 give and take, then a dominant kinky vanilla lover may make you happy. If you enjoy giving with no expectation of reciprocity, and having what you offer Another actually be taken, then a Master may be what makes you happiest.

So in summation, it falls on the Master, again, to establish a framework in which the slave can maintain herself and her identity. If the Master consumes her life and identity, a co-dependent situation may come into fruition and yield an unhealthy and unhappy situation.

Second: "Maybe it would come up as a lack of focus and lack of purpose for a while in some cases?"

--Continued in next comment ;)

Comment on Dear Simon: Only F/fools rush in....

2008-03-10T21:27:07Z

Dear Simon,

Thank You for Your thoughtful and very helpful answers! If i may, i’d like to add few things…

i am very much aware of how powerful the pull of submission is for me, and I do try to make wise choices. Thank You for the reminder :) in my experience meeting my former Dom, his ability to create a comfortable environment for me plus myself having more life experience and becoming more self-aware including listening to my intuition, allowed me to move faster than i usually would have when meeting a vanilla guy. it paid off wonderfully, and we remain good friends, and i do consider myself a very passionate and sensual person. Interesting… :)

my asking about the possibility of losing yourself in the relationship comes from thinking that a M/s relationship seems to offer the opportunity for the most fulfilling partnership imaginable. It wouldn’t be just a fling and the breakdown of that may be very hard to deal with. After serving someone for a good amount of time, the Master being your focus and your guide, would there be a risk of not being able to serve yourself as well? Maybe it would come up as a lack of focus and lack of purpose for a while in some cases?

Unfortunately being in Australia i can't join your course but i'm planning to be involved with Araneas' teleclass when she holds the next one.

Thank You for Your time,

Regards, D.

Posted by Denise on Monday, March 10, 2008 at 9:57 AM
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Comment on New Bio for Upcoming slave Manual by Master Arcane...

2007-09-03T02:40:13Z

*wiggle*